My name is Barney the purple dinosaur and I am very grateful to be able to speak with you at such a wonderfully orange sight. By the way, I love every color under the rainbow.
Whether you are mothers, fathers, grandparents or paid mercenaries that torture, murder and are accountable to no one -- you are still "American". And you are all happy purple dinosaurs in my book!
And as purple dinosaurs, you and I are not as divided as others make us out to be.
30% of us may feel that the constitution is inconvenient at times like this, so it is time that I give you a great big Barney hug and talk about other things so that none of us have to feel sad.
Those meanies in televisionland are watching our every move, so we shouldn't look sad or angry. We must be happy and give a big purple dinosaur hug to everyone out there -- even the men who intercept our phone calls and listen to our conversations when we're talking on the phone to our other American friends. Oops! I said too much.
Let's Sing!
I love you...you love me...we are one big fam-i-ly.
And Mr. President, even though you and Mr. Cheney have been bad little dinosaurs for the past 7 years, do you think you could...umm...well...
ah...shucks!
Do you think you could find it in your little purple hearts to...umm...well...give all of us a big Barney hug and perhaps not think about meeesey weesey as much.
Pretty please?
Come on...
huggy wuggy...
There. Doesn't that feel better?
Now, let's work together and ignore all that unconstitutionality and war-crime stuff! k?! ;>)
Love,
Barney.
xoxoxox